Domestic Violence Expert & Relationship Specialist

Posts by Tina Royles

Posted on July 1, 2013 by Tina Royles

Linzi Ashton Domestic Violence Murder in Salford -Greater Manchester Police hunt for who they are indicating is the suspect ex partner Michael Cope
Tina Royles MA – Domestic Violence Expert (www.tinaroyles.com) comments:
“Not a day goes by lately without an incident of domestic violence or a debate about it hitting the news – whether thats to do with police failings, whether its to do with new guidelines, whether its a campaigner or politician speaking about it, or an academic coming up with new theories – but in my opinion underneath it all what it comes down to is the stark reality that any domestic violence incident can end in a fatality.
What has been highlighted in the news reports is that Linzi Ashton had been in a relationship with Michael Cope for only three months, and yet reports had been made a number of times to Greater Manchester of domestic violence. What action or interventions were initiated? Had Linzi’s circumstances been the subject of the DASH Risk Assessment Model, how many risk markers were identified? Did her circumstances meet the points criteria that Salford Domestic Abuse Partnership Agencies need to be activated in order for a referral to be made through to the MARAC (Multi Agency Risk Assessment Conference).

If it had been referred through to a MARAC – was an IDVA (Independent Domestic Violence Advocate) assigned. If one was assigned then surely that advocate or another professional would have as standard best practice highlighted to Linzi the fact that risk increases when a perpetrator is told the relationship is over.
If Linzi wasn’t the subject of a MARAC, what action did the Police take, what information was given to Linzi i.e support agencies, what information was given around domestic violence, what referrals were made to children’s services. Does Michael Cope have previous history of Violence with other previous partners – Greater Manchester Police are one of the Pilot Forces for Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme following Clare’s Law (Clare Wood was murdered by her ex partner George Appleton.

Time and time again we hear of fatalities, key agencies and politicians seek advice from ‘Experts’ in domestic violence, and amend policies/procedures based on this advice, they buy in these ‘Experts’ training and packages………..but STILL the incidents keep happening and STILL the FATALITIES CONTINUE……

Domestic violence is complex, and no one case is exactly the same, emotions are also involved, people don’t fit nice and neatly into a criteria or box that can be worked rigidly towards, but even more worrying is are we as professionals making dealing with it even more complex and complicated – because often victims don’t feel they get the appropriate support, therefore they often stop asking for it.

Linzi Ashton was 25 years old, and had two children from a previous relationship. Her name gets added to a tragically ever increasing list of domestic violence murders, two children lose a mother and their lives will be affected forever, and for other family members, friends and colleagues they too have lost a loved one.

It is about time we perhaps moved away from the academia or theories of what we think is domestic violence, but go back to grass roots level and start listening and I mean really listening to the victims and survivors of domestic violence and asking them what support, what help and what assistance they need – without all the red tape, and lets start making a difference”

For domestic violence counselling please call 01244 760113 or visit the website http://www.selyortherapycentre.com

For domestic violence information and comments please visit the website http://www.tinaroyles.com

For a link to the Daily Mail’s story around Linzi Ashton Domestic Violence Murder please click here

 

“INFORMATION GIVES YOU THE POWER OF BEING INFORMED, WHILST KNOWLEDGE PROVIDES YOU WITH THE ABILITY TO USE IT WELL” – TINA ROYLES

Domestic Violence Book - Tina Royles

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Posted on May 11, 2013 by Tina Royles

Inappropriate help, advice and guidance can often cause more damage than good. Domestic Violence Expert, Domestic Violence Coach, Domestic Violence Counselling – Who are YOU placing your trust in?

The Impact and Effects of Domestic Violence and Abuse can take many years, if at all to heal and recover from.

Some victims might be able to do this on their own, others will obtain the help and support of their friends and family, and many will seek the help of someone they view as an authority, professional and expert on domestic violence and abuse.

Unfortunately there has been a significant rise over the last twelve months in victims coming forward through either my own private practice http://www.selyortherapycentre.com or through http://www.tinaroyles.com, stating they have sought help and support from other professional individuals and organisations and have been concerned by the service they have been offered or provided with – and this appears to be a worrying trend, that has the potential to cause significant harm emotionally to the victim, and may in fact put their lives and the lives of their children in potential danger.

Sadly there are many individuals in society today who have received very limited counselling or coaching training, or in fact no training at all, who may or may not have had their own personal experience of domestic violence and abuse to go on, consider themselves to be ‘Experts’ in the area of domestic violence and abuse, and therefore put themselves in the position of dealing with often extremely vulnerable individual’s who are still suffering from traumatic memories and triggers.

With such ease of access in todays digital and technological world any individual can now set up a website and promote themselves as a coach, counsellor or expert, and in some industries or with some issues this might not have such a detrimental impact but there is a danger within the complexities of domestic violence of a victim when vulnerable searching for anything that will take away or eradicate the pain and hurt that their partner or former partner put them through, and unfortunately there will be an element of society that will step into the shoes of the abuser from a controlling point of view and take advantage of a vulnerable victim, and in turn cause that victim more harm than good.
It is vital and paramount that if you are a victim of domestic violence and abuse, that when you search for a figure of authority, professional or expert on that subject matter that you get someone who has professional qualifications, experience, knowledge, and skill set to create a solid foundation from which you can start your road to healing and recovery.

Yes personal experience might help equip the individual to have empathy with you, but their experience is their experience and will not be yours. With domestic violence and abuse, there may be some similarities but there will also be fundamental differences, because although there are common themes, each person’s experience will be unique to them based on their personal, societal and familial experiences and messages which have been passed down to them. It will not give them alone the knowledge and skill set to give you professional help. What worked for them might be detrimental to you.

When you are seeking help a first port of call to establish the individuals experience and qualifications, these should be listed on their website, or if they do not have a website ask to view a copy of their curriculum vitae (CV), so you can establish for yourself whether you are comfortable with putting your emotional future in their hands.

There are lots of experienced and skill full professionals out there and it is important that you find the appropriate one for you.

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Posted on March 26, 2013 by Tina Royles

Media focus on Rihanna in run up to Chris Browns court date

As it gets nearer to Chris Browns Court Appearance in Los Angeles on April 5th, the Media all around the world are focusing their attentions on Rihanna, some press comments are suggesting that she is heading for a meltdown, others are criticising her for getting back with the singer who was convicted of an assault on her four years ago.

Whatever the comments, Rihanna is someone in the public eye who sadly is having her vulnerability exposed to the world. A person does not choose to be a victim of domestic violence they find themselves engulfed in a relationship which is often loving and caring, and then hair line cracks; often subtle in nature at first start to appear, some try to fix these cracks while they are small, but there are other internal and external factors that will all play an intrinsic part in whether the cracks become deeper and wider, and in turn if left or the wrong treatment is sought/applied then the cracks can affect the foundations not solely within the relationship, but a persons self esteem, belief system, values, their confidence, and things begin to tumble down around them – and sadly this is what I see happening with many victims of domestic violence – their world falls apart, and what they don’t need is to be criticised or judged, what helps a victim of domestic violence come through such an ordeal is the support, and empathy of those around them directly and indirectly – because domestic violence can and does happen to anyone regardless of their age, gender, nationality, education, sexuality, ethnicity, status, class, religion, culture, ability, race, disability, knowledge, experience, profession, or the fact that they are a celebrity etc…and who knows who it might affect next!

Lets hope Rihanna gets all the support that she may need from all those around her in order to help her through this difficult and testing time; and I’d like to echo this message to anyone going through such difficulties.

For anyone struggling in a domestic violence relationship, or for anyone who has already left a domestic violence relationship who is struggling to deal with the traumatic impact that this relationship has had on you, or for anyone who is a perpetrator who would like to change their behaviour but is finding it difficult to do so, or for those seeking relationship counselling then why not take your first steps today and begin the process of counselling.
For those in the Cheshire, North West of England, or North Wales area why not contact Selyor Therapy Centre and book an appointment – 01244 760113

For those outside this geographic location who wish to travel to the centre for counselling then we can arrange to group sessions together, or discuss alternative methods for providing counselling or specific programmes. To discuss why not email us on selyortherapycentre@gmail.com.

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http://www.tinaroyles.com/is-cutting-paperwork-really-the-key-to-preventing-domestic-violence

But it has since caused further concern from other organisations, and is a topic that has also been discussed by The Daily Mail:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2265269/Domestic-abuse-reforms-putting-women-risk-police-stop-recording-details-incidents.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

What are your thoughts on both arguments – Do you think police should complete details of all domestic violence incidents?

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Posted on October 25, 2012 by Tina Royles

I watched this documentary earlier this week, which highlighted the Domestic Violence Story of Tina Nash; who suffered horrific injuries at the hands of her partner whom she was trying to break up with.

The story is a constant reminder of the difficulties and dangers victims of domestic violence face when they have made the decision to leave, they are in a vulnerable position and need all the support they can get from friend and family and in particular the authorities.

Channel 4 Dispatches have been groundbreaking in their documentaries over the last 15 years in relation to domestic violence reaching audiences that many campaigns to raise awareness cannot reach, this was another vital documentary with a sobering message.

Tina Nash, and many other victims of domestic violence have pledged to raise the awareness of domestic violence, and to help other victims, but we must all do our bit, we will never end domestic violence completely, especially the first incidence of it, but together working in partnership, not under the lead of a monopoly, we can and should improve services and resources for victims, children, perpetrators and other family members affected by it directly or indirectly.

But lets not constantly try and reinvent the wheel, good practice has been around for the last twenty years, there are no new reasons for domestic violence, it is the abuse of power and control on another, yes there are aggravating factors such as alcohol, drugs, financial difficulties, stress, witnessing DV as a child, but these are not the cause of the violence and abuse.

If agencies continue to work together in partnerships through domestic violence multi agency forums, and progress with joint initiatives to meet the needs raised within their locality, then projects have a chance of continuing where successful, if agencies work in isolation, or monopolies are set up then each are at odds with each other and are battling over the funding available and that means inconsistent services for those involved.

For specialist domestic violence counselling contact Selyor Therapy Centre on 01244 760113 or visit the website for details of domestic violence services http://www.selyortherapycentre.com

For details on the article click here

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