Posted on May 11, 2013 by Tina Royles

Inappropriate help, advice and guidance can often cause more damage than good. Domestic Violence Expert, Domestic Violence Coach, Domestic Violence Counselling – Who are YOU placing your trust in?

The Impact and Effects of Domestic Violence and Abuse can take many years, if at all to heal and recover from.

Some victims might be able to do this on their own, others will obtain the help and support of their friends and family, and many will seek the help of someone they view as an authority, professional and expert on domestic violence and abuse.

Unfortunately there has been a significant rise over the last twelve months in victims coming forward through either my own private practice or through, stating they have sought help and support from other professional individuals and organisations and have been concerned by the service they have been offered or provided with – and this appears to be a worrying trend, that has the potential to cause significant harm emotionally to the victim, and may in fact put their lives and the lives of their children in potential danger.

Sadly there are many individuals in society today who have received very limited counselling or coaching training, or in fact no training at all, who may or may not have had their own personal experience of domestic violence and abuse to go on, consider themselves to be ‘Experts’ in the area of domestic violence and abuse, and therefore put themselves in the position of dealing with often extremely vulnerable individual’s who are still suffering from traumatic memories and triggers.

With such ease of access in todays digital and technological world any individual can now set up a website and promote themselves as a coach, counsellor or expert, and in some industries or with some issues this might not have such a detrimental impact but there is a danger within the complexities of domestic violence of a victim when vulnerable searching for anything that will take away or eradicate the pain and hurt that their partner or former partner put them through, and unfortunately there will be an element of society that will step into the shoes of the abuser from a controlling point of view and take advantage of a vulnerable victim, and in turn cause that victim more harm than good.
It is vital and paramount that if you are a victim of domestic violence and abuse, that when you search for a figure of authority, professional or expert on that subject matter that you get someone who has professional qualifications, experience, knowledge, and skill set to create a solid foundation from which you can start your road to healing and recovery.

Yes personal experience might help equip the individual to have empathy with you, but their experience is their experience and will not be yours. With domestic violence and abuse, there may be some similarities but there will also be fundamental differences, because although there are common themes, each person’s experience will be unique to them based on their personal, societal and familial experiences and messages which have been passed down to them. It will not give them alone the knowledge and skill set to give you professional help. What worked for them might be detrimental to you.

When you are seeking help a first port of call to establish the individuals experience and qualifications, these should be listed on their website, or if they do not have a website ask to view a copy of their curriculum vitae (CV), so you can establish for yourself whether you are comfortable with putting your emotional future in their hands.

There are lots of experienced and skill full professionals out there and it is important that you find the appropriate one for you.